Many of the topics for these newsletters come from conversations I’ve had during the week. This time, a discussion about relationships stood out. It’s not a subject I’ve touched on much, but it’s an important one.
The conversation revolved around whether people should wait for the “perfect” person or “settle” in relationships. I don’t believe anyone should settle, but I’m also not sure every good relationship involves people who are “perfect” for each other. People are complicated, with diverse interests and opinions. It’s natural for partners to disagree and have different interests.
In my view, a good relationship is one where both people care enough about each other and are willing to work through the differences and hardships. Settling, to me, means being in a relationship where you don’t want to put in that effort with someone and still staying in the relationship. Trusting your instincts is important—if something feels off, it probably is. That said, I don’t think people should avoid a relationship because everything isn’t “perfect”.
This idea ties into something else I’ve been thinking about: finding the “perfect” job. I’ve written before about whether a job should align with your passions or whether it’s better to separate work and personal interests. I’m still figuring it out, but I know I enjoy working with smart people and solving challenging problems. In a way, my career already reflects things I’d enjoy doing in my free time, which is to think about interesting problems.
Jobs can shape other parts of your life, like where you live. Suppose there’s a “perfect” job in a place you’re okay living in but would prefer to be elsewhere. On the other hand, what if there’s a less-than-perfect job in your ideal location? That’s a decision I might face soon. I don’t think there’s a wrong choice, so I’m not too stressed about it. Still, balancing my career and personal desires has been on my mind. Even if I make the “wrong” choice, I think I am at a point in life where I can pretty easily change my mind. I don’t think that is always going to be true but at least it is right now!